i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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