i may or may not be watching the land before time
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
