I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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