She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
