omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
