I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
