do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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