Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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