Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
