i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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