and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
