I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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