This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize