Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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