All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
