just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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