why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize