My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
