If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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