Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
