Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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