TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
