I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
