If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize