Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
