Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
