ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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