i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
