he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
