Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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