Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
