my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
