do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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