"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
