dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize