I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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