so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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