like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
