and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize