you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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