Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
