Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
