you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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