I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
