that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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