Kiss
Puke
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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