Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
