My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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