Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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