those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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