I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
