I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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