i was rollin on her like bob the builder
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
