im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
