and you said cock pushups were impossible
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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