some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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