my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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