I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
