So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
