i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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