Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize