why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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