I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
