You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
