Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
