For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
