I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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