remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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