I need help removing her.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
