dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
