The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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