she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize