Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Me. At least after what I've been through.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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