Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize