I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
