the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
