I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize