he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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